Looking at life...

배신감... 보이다...

We were young and
I watched you grow.
Learned everything that we weren't supposed to know.
We spent the fading nights into morning hours
Talking to each other about everything.
We cried and we fought together
As well as laughed and played.
But most of all we loved each other
As childhood friends.

^^

Wife casts spell: Divorce

[You lose a member of your party]
[You are afflicted by: Memories of Guilt]
[You are afflicted by: Depression]
[You are afflicted by: Alcoholism]
[You receive item: Wedding Band of Bitterness]


*Memories of Guilt: Cannot concentrate to cast spells or learn any new abilities
*Depression: Energy cannot rise above 15%. HP/MP regeneration reduced by 75%.
*Alcoholism: HP/MP restoration potions now temporarily cause dizzyness, nausea and temporary memory loss.

*Wedding Band of Bitterness
HP -50%
MP -50%
STR -10
AGI -15
INT -6
STA -20

Latent effect: Urge to cause wanton destruction of all females. No females may join your party.

I used to love the rain... but now it's just depressing.

Well it's been 3 months since I've worn my ring. It feels strange still to not have it on. I thought the feeling would wear off in a week or so but I can still feel it on my finger. I'm kind of scared as to what will happen in the future.

Alcohol doesn't help. ;o

I don't know what the hell is going on these days. Work isn't bad. It's pretty relaxed for the most part and it's easy work. I'm 6000 miles away from home so really can't see my family or friends and my wife has basically shunned my existence since I came to Korea. So, overall at the moment life kinda sucks.

I caught a scent a few moments ago that brought back a lot of memories. It's strange how that happens.

I have so much hate...

I feel like I'm in high school again...;o

That fits... perfectly. Unfortunatley I don't mesh well with anyone else. It makes life very difficult. I wish someone would accept my strong flaws! T_T

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

Well, this weekend was a blast. I went out on Friday with some guys and we went bar hopping. Was pretty fun. Saturday I went with Armstrong up to Seoul and we did a lot of walking around. It was cool to do a little sightseeing and such. I finally got to ride the train and subway and such too, so that was cool. We met up with a buddy in Yongsan and had dinner. After that we came back here and had a couple drinks and retired for the night. Overall it has been a good weekend. Things with work are starting to come together too, so that's good.

I'm still missing Amanda. I haven't really talked to her much this week after seeing her on Wednesday. Very much missing you dear!

Other than that, not a lot has been going on. It's been a relaxed weekend. ^-^

My sleep pattern this past week has been all messed up. I haven't been able to sleep well ever since Amanda left, and now it's getting to the point of all-nighters. Well, Thursday I had duty overnight, so that was a justified overnighter and I had Friday off :D Even so, I ended up staying awake pretty late on Friday as well. Now on Saturday it's almost 2am and I'm still not in bed. I'm so tired that my head is spinning, but my thoughts are spinning as well and I just can't fall asleep. Insomnia just strikes like ninjas relentlessly throwing ninja stars at my brain. *leakage*

Oh noes, it's leaking out! Ahhhhh

;o

Here's a few things this country needs in my opinion.
-A new president
-End the war and use the same funding that was used to fund the war to fund research and creation of an alternate energy source.
-Stricter immigration laws
-Better emphasis on Health

Just in my humble opinion :)

That must be what Koreans say. The place must completely devoid of pay phones -.-

If she knows it or not, I miss my wife. She's half way around the world and I can't see her. I walk through my house sometimes thinking that I'll see her around the corner and I can just grab her and hug her, but whenever I look, no one is there. I love Amanda. I love her more than I've loved anyone or anything. I think aboug her often and it's lonely in this house without her. I've lived on my own before so I didn't think it would be bad, but I have it bad. I can't sleep in bed at night anymore without her there - I've taken to sleeping uncomfortably on the couch. My wife has patients that I've never seen a person have. How do I know? She puts up with me. I know she doesn't tell me a lot of what's in her mind because she doesn't want to bother me... however that's what bothers me the most. I want to hear everything that's on her mind, even if I don't know how to respond. I want to be not just a husband, but a friend. I want her to confide in me and love me as much as I love her. She's hard to read sometimes, because when I ask her, she says everything is ok... even though her eyes and face say "God, help me... I'm depressed and I hate life" loud and clear. I could keep asking, but she's as stubborn as I am and will confide in others besides me. I want to know how to make her laugh... make her smile. I want to be on the same wavelength so that we both laugh at the same things or find same interests. Truth be told, I'm not sure what she sees in me. I'm not very kind, and I'm difficult to put up with and to get along with. I'm rather pesimistic and I dislike most people. Sometimes I feel like I don't tell her I love her enough, even though I tell her at least a hundred times a day. Some days I think she doesn't believe me, but that never stops me from saying it. Some times when I hug her I get the feeling she's saying "Get away from me" but it never stops me from hugging her, because if she knows it or not, I love her dearly. There are times when I feel like the world is out to get me or to stab me in the back... even my wife. However if I ever accuse her she still stands beside me and says what words mean the most to me. My body tingles every time she says it... and sometimes I feel like I don't hear it enough.. "I love you". So, Amanda, if you know it or not-- You are dear to me. I hold you closest to my heart and soul and you're far more than my wife. I miss you, I love you and I wish you were here. <3

Alright, so here's an update!

I'm out in California right now playing Army. Fun fun! Things are going all right. I'm seeing a wonderful girl, "school" is going alright and the weather is great. I spend the weekdays doing PT, learning Korean and spending time with my fiancée. We practice Korean together and hang out off post. Fun stuff, let me tell you!

Korean is going okay. I mean, I'm not doing fantastic, but I'm not doing horrible either. Imagine trying to keep up in a foreign language that moves at the pace of an average college semester per month and a half. For those of you that have taken a foreign language in college, you know kind of what I'm getting at! We cover the language at the speed of crazy people and never get a break. It really sucks, honestly.

What else is going on... hmm. I miss my friends and family and I haven't been able to see them since I went to basic. I'm hoping that I get to see someone over Exodus which is coming up in December. It'll be nice to see everyone again for a bit. I'm quite excited.

Anyway, as for that, I'm not doing much else. My days here are fairly monotonous, save spending time with Amanda which is always interesting. Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Yeah, I know I haven't updated, but I don't really care, so yeah! There's nothing special going on with me anyway. My life is pretty routine, except the weekends. The weekends are my escape into bliss with my girlfriend. Hope you're all doing all right.

Well, again it's been awhile, hasn't it? My life has taken quite a dramatic turn. I'm anxious to see what happens!

Plans for school have been tossed out the window. I've now joined the army. Nifty hm? I thought it was. Anyway, I leave Jan 19th to do my Basic Combat Training. I'm really looking foward to it. After that I spend a year in California doing my Advanced Individual Training. Looking forward to that also! Anyway, if you want to keep in touch, get ahold of me with your address!

So it's been awhile. I'm sorry! Actually I'm not that sorry ;D Anyway, there really hasn't been all that much going on here. Mostly just work work work. I've been getting lots of 12hr days lately. Usually M/W/F so that really really sucks. So that means on M/W/F I usually work from 11pm to 11:20am. On T/TH I have school after I get off of work. My first class, Japanese 101 is at 9:55-11:55. The other day my professor asked me if I would be interested in sitting in on the Japanese 201 class. Would I pass up this opportunity? Hell no! So that means I usually don't leave school until around 2:15pm. So I just come home and crash. It's all starting to catch up with me though. I'm getting tired a lot easier these past couple weeks and it just sucks.

On a better note, I'm getting things taken care of for school. I just sent them more money and what not so the process should get going here soon. All my FAFSA stuff is done, but I'm waiting for word from them that they've received all my information. Hope so... I'm really excited about going back to school again. I'm even more excited that I might get to room with John. Wooo! Next year we're going to get room 1337... ;D

Anyway, I need to go to work now. ja ne~!!